Friday, December 9, 2011

The end.

Officially negative yesterday.  I'm sad, I'm angry, I'm regretful.  I've done everything I was "supposed" to do in life and none of it really matters.  I feel like the more than three years I've given to this process were wasted.  Trips never taken, big decisions postponed, family and friends pushed away. 
All for nothing - ending up in the same place that we started, but emotionally wrecked.   I have more to say, but I'm lacking the energy to organize my thoughts.

Happy holidays to all.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

BFN (unofficial)

Tested this morning at 10 days post transfer.  Just a single line on a pristine white background.  No hope.
Nothing hurts quite as much as a PIO shot that you know is pointless.  But I'll still do the last two and go for my official beta on Thursday to close out this cycle.
I think I'm done. The trouble is I'm not really sure how to go back to living my life without all of this.   

Monday, December 5, 2011


I haven't broken down and tested yet, but I'll either test tonight or tomorrow morning.  I'm pretty confident that it's negative.  I was awake for about two hours last night staring at the ceiling and it really sunk in that this is likely our last chance.   We could potentially give IVM a try, but there is not guarantee that I'll be a good candidate.  I'm going to be 35 - we all know where that falls on the magical curve.
I know that I won't know for sure until beta (Thursday), but I'm close to calling this one.