Wednesday, November 30, 2011


I haven't been blogging, but wanted to give a quick update.  We had our retrieval - 15 eggs, 12 fertilized.
We went with a day 2 transfer, and six embryos.  This sounds crazy, but only three were at the level they should be -- and nothing else made it to freeze.  So chances of getting a reality show are very very slim.
Hopefully, I still have a chance for a take home baby or two.
In general, things are ok.  I'm keeping busy, but also trying to keep my stress levels down.   We had a quiet holiday at home, I took a few days off from work on either end - and spent quality time on the couch catching up on reading and watching bad tv/movies.
Any symptoms I have right now, I'm attributing to the PIO.  The shots are not as bad as I thought.  I was told to use a 1 inch needle, which is slightly less scary.   I find that if I stand and lean slightly forward with all of my weight on the non-shot side, the pain is pretty minimal.  I don't ice ahead of time, but I massage the area with a heated washcloth for a few minutes after.   After a week, both hips are sore and starting to bruise but no painful knots.   
I don't have any tests at home and I haven't fully decided if I"ll test before beta day (Dec. 8th).  I'm leaning towards a home test because I hate getting the bad news at work.  We shall see.....  That's where I am.  Thanks for sticking with me!

Friday, November 18, 2011


Things are going well so far -- it looks like more eggs than normal, still on the small side.  I go back again tomorrow for monitoring.  My prediction is trigger Monday, retrieval Wednesday, and two day transfer on Friday.     In general, I'm feeling ok.  Bruising from the Meno.pur, these shots sting!  I'm still getting daily headaches, but nothing I can't handle. 
One thing I've noticed this round is that I am exceptionally spacey -- forgetting names, spelling errors, lack of conversational skills.  It's like a cruel joke- baby brain without baby.  I think it's partly because I just have too much going on all at once, but maybe it's the meds too.    I'm still getting acupuncture weekly, but because of the holiday next week, I won't be able to go to my practitioner for transfer.  I'm trying to decide if I should go to someone else for a single session.  I have recommendations, but I think the stress of finding someone else and getting myself there and back would be worse than delaying the procedure for a couple of days.  I'm probably going to skip it, and go on Monday.  But, part of me feels like I should make the effort because..what if?    Damn infertility, I used to be able to make decisions!

Thursday, November 17, 2011


Well, last night I sucessfully managed Folli.stim, Meno.pur, and Gan.irelix.  They stung a lot more than I anticipated, but the process itself wasn't too bad.  Luckily the Gani.relix is my only morning shot now, because I'm usually not awake enough to deal with something like Qcaps and mixing vials.
I remember when I took my first Gonal F shot and was SO SCARED.  What a joke.  The last mountain to climb will be PIO, but I'm trying not to think about it yet.   Still slow and steady progress, too early to tell when I'll have retrieval, but we're potentially looking at Tuesday or Wednesday. 
I finished my shots last night, retreated to the couch and *bam* - pregnancy announcement.  From this couple who got married a year after us.  This is their second. I'm trying to figure out how I can avoid her for the next year or so......
I'm also 99% sure that a coworker is pregnant -- she's been making a lot of thinly veiled comments about doctor appointments, cutting back on exercise etc.  Either come out with it or keep it to yourself, lady. 

I'm struggling with the emotional side of this -- on one hand, I'm just over it.  I don't think it's going to work and I'm going through the motions.  But I still have a little flicker of hope -- a little voice saying "what if".

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Bad blogger (Stims, Day 6)

Hello out there - not sure if I have anyone left, as I've been a very bad blogger.  Things have been exceptionally busy at work and with travel.  October flew by.  I'm currently on Day 6 of stims for IVF#3, our last.  Monitoring yesterday showed slow progress, but it's early.  I go back tomorrow.
I've been going to acupuncture weekly and really enjoying it.  I don't know if it is helping, but I do find it relaxing and I love my practitioner.  Of course, I broke down and cried in her office last week - so she might not love me back.  I broke out the Circle+Bloom and it still puts me to sleep.  I think it's just an automatic reaction to her voice and I can't seem to fight it.  Still counts as relaxation, right?  
 I've been feeling pretty sad and weepy - I had chalked it up to the bcp, but I'm still feeling it.  I just don't have confidence and sometimes it all seems so overwhelming that I just want to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head.  
Anyhow -- I'm trucking along slow and steady.    I get out of bed and stay busy.   And hopefully by this time next week, we'll be gearing up for retrieval.