I get it universe, pt 2.

Beta #1 - 24, Beta #2 - 6.  So officially another loss and it looks like a very short stay in beta hell for once.  I have a follow up meeting with my doctor on Monday morning.  I'm very interested in what he's going to suggest.  I know his miscarriage speech, but I'm curious if he's still confident that we can do this with my (apparently) crappy eggs.  Or if there is something else going on and my body just won't sustain a pregnancy.   I'm trying to let go and focus on the positives - or slightly less negatives -- about my situation.
There has been some awful, awful news out in blogland this week and my heart is breaking for these ladies.  It puts this loss in perspective.  So many people are dealing with so much more, I hardly have the right to complain.  I'm sad, but glad that this happened quickly if it was going to happen at all.  My wedding anniversary was this week and I'm happy to have my husband at my side through all of this -- I want more than anything to make him a father, but I know that we'll make it regardless of what happens.  
 I ended up confessing to my boss this week because she flat out asked me what was going on - she could tell something was up and she was concerned. I was so worn out I didn't have it in me to try to make up any more excuses.   She was incredibly supportive and I do think that will make it easier if we do pursue more treatments.  She also suggested that I might be too stressed and we should relax and go away more, and by the way adoption is a wonderful choice..... sigh.  But her heart was in the right place.  She even said she'd support a leave of absence if that's what it took.  I don't really want to do that, but I hope she remembers that if we ever get a take home baby - I'm going to want to stretch that maternity leave as much as I possibly can.   And so I'll move forward - throw myself into gardening this weekend, drink some good wine and focus on getting our house ready in light of my in-law's sudden "We're coming into town on June 22nd and staying with you for a week" announcement.   Ugh.