Longest day ever

Well, after my optimistic start to the day - mother nature decided to step in and send me back to reality.  I've had pretty intense cramps and bleeding/spotting all day today.  Even though I know there is nothing I can do, I left work so I could at least be laying down this afternoon.   I took another test and the line is even lighter than yesterday.  I KNOW that it's not ideal to test in the afternoon, and I KNOW that the blood test is what will really tell us what's going on - but I still feel like this is slipping away.  Ironically, I never had any cramping or bleeding with either of my last miscarriages - it was the ultrasounds that gave us the final answer.  But last time I had low betas that never quite doubled, and we were in limbo until the ultrasound at the seven week mark.  (Delayed because of a planned vacation - Dis.ney with 10 members of your extended family pretending that nothing is amiss, but treating your body like you were pregant even though you are pretty sure that the pregnancy is doomed? Not fun.) 
 But I digress - after the procedure, it still was a good six weeks until I got a negative beta. 
I'm not sure how I'm going to get through this if it happens again.   I guess I'll just take it as it comes.