Negative again. AF today. I suppose I should be glad I saved myself a trip to the clinic for blood work. And judging by my 4:30am breakdown, I'm glad I didn't get the call tomorrow at work. The worst part? Telling my husband. He's incredibly sweet and said all the right things, but I know that this is my fault. It's my body doing this. He should already be a dad by now, and I know he would be a great one. I'm just not supposed to be the mom.
I'm just...sad. And tired - very, very tired.
I had told myself that if it was negative I'd sign up for the 40 Day Yoga program at my studio. But I've decided against it. I can't fail at something else right now - I just can't. WTF meeting with my RE next week. He's already said that IVF would be the next step. I'm just not sure if I'm strong enough to do it. (See above re: failing.)
Oh no..I'm so so sorry. My heart is breaking for you. I really thought this was it, as I'm sure you did too. Don't rush into anything. Take time to heal from this bad news and get your strength/motivation back.
ReplyDeleteAs for yoga, how many classes a week is the session? I just started a few months ago (sticking to very calm, non-strenous, relaxing classes only) and have found it to be a huge help. Even if it's only for the distraction for an hour, I think it might be worth trying when you're ready...
Thinking of you today xo
Ugghhh, I am so sorry! I hope your RE is able to get some good information!
ReplyDeleteI'm so so sorry SJ. I hope your meeting with RE will give you direction.
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurts for you. I'm so very sorry.
ReplyDelete